Taylor Swift releases video for 'Shake It Off'

Taylor Swift in her latest music video for "Shake if Off" from her new album "1989," which released as a preorder on iTunes Monday.

Smiley face
If Taylor Swift's “Shake It Off”—the lead single from her new album, “1989”—is any indication, she has apparently decided to stop trying.


See, I wanted to roast her mercilessly for being the latest pretty blonde in a string of pretty blondes in music the past two years (Miley, Iggy, Demi, Selena, probably Gwen Stefani still?) who dip their toes into other cultures but wouldn't actually know a hot comb from a Harajuku from a ham sandwich.

But she even trumped that.

ALL of the dancers in Swift's recent music video, regardless of ethnicity, are stripped of their individuality and gawked at by Swift because “Oooh look at these wacky hipsters and the ballerinas and the twerkers and ... *moment when Swift realizes she doesn't have her own personallity occurs.*"

I can’t even prep a sufficient rebuttal if she’s going to be this lazy. I can’t come back with “The reason minorities get upset when this stuff happens is because cultural appropriation means that someone can pick and choose aspects of your identity and then wear them as they please—and dispose of in the same freewheeling manner—while you're looked at as a goddamned costume and not a fully realized human being.” I also can’t come through and crush the debate with my metaphor specifically formulated to shut down that tired-ass “BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT WHITE CHICKS MOVIE!?!?” rebuttal.

(If you were wondering, here it is: If I asked you to describe a "white girl" costume, what would you come up with? Kind of hard to come up with a solid idea, right? Now, imagine a geisha costume ... didn't take long, did it?)

So nope, T-Swift has declared that she has abandoned the bleachers (and the awkward people under them) she sang about to join the cheerleading team once and for all.

And you know what? I’m fine with it. If she wants to go with the lowest common denominator, fine by me. I don't care anymore. There are people who look like me dying in the street and people advocating for their deaths and I just can't get distracted because Taylor Swift decided to confirm in a new video her ranking as the all-time corniest living human ever. She'll move a million units and there will be all kinds of horrible suburban pom squad routines and lackluster drag performances done in honor of this song.

I'm done.

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