Like it or not, the Grammys arrive Jan. 26, meaning Taylor Swift may become a two-time Album of the Year winner and “Locked Out of Heaven” could be etched in awards-show lore forever. (Shudder.)

While we can’t say we’re totally psyched for the annual event, we did have some items to hash out.

MP: Ernest! Turn off that Sara Bareilles album! The Grammys are coming, and we have so much to discuss. Questions like “Can we never hear ‘Blurred Lines’ again please?” and “Do I really have to listen to Bruno Mars do anything?” Are you excited or what?

EW: Matt, I’m more hyped than Grammy voters are for Bruce Springsteen to do ... well, anything. Let me stop lying. I really dislike the whole thing, man. If only because it seems like the Academy tries to set new land speed records for being out of touch every year. I mean, Led Zeppelin hasn’t released an album of new music since 1982 but somehow is nominated for TWO Grammys this year. It’s maddening.

MP: Out of touch? I don’t know how you can call the Grammys out of touch when they reward under-the-radar material like Imagine Dragons’ “Radioactive” and Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky.”

Sigh. I too have long been tired of the well-documented fact that the Grammys only pay attention to the most popular artists, and what’s popular of course doesn’t automatically mean “best.” But before I fall into a fit of grumbling about Katy Perry this and Ed Sheeran that, I will say that I do have a few dogs in the fight this year: Firstly, I’d love to see Kacey Musgraves take home Best New Artist—her “Same Trailer, Different Park” was one of my favorite albums of the year, and though I do quite like fellow nominees Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (and root for them in the Album of the Year category), I’m confident Musgraves is the best bet to stick around for the long haul. I know you’re a Kendrick fan, but he doesn’t get my vote here.

Who are you rooting for most?

EW: Wait. Wait. Waiiiiiiiiiitttttt a second. You’re going to sit there and say that MACKLEMORE AND RYAN LEWIS deserve Album of the Year? They were one “Stay in school, kids!” record away from being a bad parody of an early ‘90s NBC afterschool special. In NO world is “The Heist” better than “Good kid, m.a.d.d city.” As far as Best New Artist, the only thing I’m rooting for is the Academy to stop waiting three years before declaring an act a “new” artist. That being said, I’m rooting for Disclosure in Best Dance/Electronica album, Gary Clark Jr. in Best Rock Song, and either “Yeezus” or “Nothing was the same” to take home Best Rap Album.

Speaking of things that irk me, what do you think about the Grammys’ never-ending attempt to do live mash-ups every year? Ooh, here’s Bruno Mars with the surviving members of GWAR! Dave Grohl is going to lead an all-star jam featuring half the members of Megadeth and Boz Scaggs!

MP: You know what? I learned a lot from early ‘90s afterschool specials. “There’s no hope with dope.” Wait, that was a “Saved By the Bell” episode. But still.

Do not even get me started on the mash-ups. (Yes, I am snapping my fingers in front of you as I say that.) While I actually would love to see the members of GWAR devour Bruno Mars—or at least give him a stern talking-to about ripping off other artists—it’s absurd that Grammy thinks you can just smash together two incompatible artists and it will be worthwhile as music, not just novelty. Although if somehow Rihanna could perform on Michael Buble’s shoulders while they were water-sliding down a mountain on which Kanye West shouted in Taylor Swift’s face, that I’d watch.

Would you rather watch red carpet arrivals or read the children’s book, “What Does the Fox Say?” And why wasn’t “Yeezus” nominated for album of the year, BTW?

EW: Honestly? I’d rather be forced to pick the members of Imagine Dragons out of a crowd at gunpoint than ever watch a red carpet pre-show again. Also, “Yeezus” wasn’t nominated because it’s a piece of work that doesn’t adhere very well to the generic categories they use. Also, they’re trolling because they want him to spaz out again.

Look, I’m trying to see a bright side about this thing other than Lorde so in the meantime, here’s a bunch of bold predictions:
-- Tig Notaro’s amazing “Live” will win Best Comedy Album
-- Lorde’s “Pure Heroine” will pull the upset for Best Pop Vocal Album
-- Twitter will be the only interesting thing about the Grammy’s this year.

Come on, Pais! Gimme some predictions, if only to feed my growing gambling habits ...

MP: I tell you to stay away from the track and this is what you do. Unbelievable.

Here are my foolproof predictions that I don’t stand behind at all:

-- “Same Love” will win Song of the Year
-- No matter who wins Best Alternative Music Album, at least one publication will write that Radiohead won
-- Justin Timberlake something something falsetto something something old-fashioned hat.

Enjoy the show! Well, try to.

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