Matt Pais, @mattpais
RedEye movie critic
April 2, 2012
“I was like, ‘Guys, my penis!,’” says Jason Biggs. “I need my penis in the movie!”
That’s how the “American Reunion” star said he reacted when he feared that a full-frontal idea wouldn't make it into the movie, opening April 6. Not only did the actor get his wish, but that’s about all the introduction you need to a ridiculous, raunchy interview with Biggs, 33, and Seann William Scott, 35, who sat down at the Peninsula Hotel to talk about reprising Jim and Stifler for a sequel that's much, much funnier than “American Pie 2” and “American Wedding.” And maybe the original. (Disclaimer: The following interview and above video features explicit language.)
Were you guys able to go out in Chicago last night after introducing the movie?
Jason Biggs: I haven’t gone to sleep yet.
Seann William Scott: I had some hookers to my room.
JB: Dude, I didn’t realize: You can get some really good, pure cocaine here.
JB: It’s pretty impressive.
Why would you think you couldn’t?
JB: I don’t know. We were here one night, I thought it might be difficult. But I guess our driver—
SWS: Yeah, he’s pretty great.
JB: —knows where to get the money [bleep]. No, I unfortunately did not. We did this screening last night, we were going to just intro the film. The truth was we left but didn’t leave. We kind of hung off on the side. We just wanted to kind of see the opening scene for a second and gauge people’s reaction. It was so good, and we were so jazzed by people’s reactions that we stayed. We probably stayed for half the film, taking in the energy and seeing where people reacted.
SWS: Dude, I’m so glad because we were on the side, and I was just listening to the laughter. The night before we had the premiere and it was awesome, but it was all industry people. It was a great response at the premiere but this was like real people. Except for you; you’re not real. You’re still in the business kind of as a writer.
Yeah, I’m kind of torn.
JB: You’re an android, right?
SWS: [Laughs.] He’s an avatar.
JB: You’re an avatar?
You guys aren’t?
JB: I’m an avatar. Dude, you think I could be in Chicago—I’m doing press right now in Indiana as well.
SWS: In Bangladesh, too.
JB: I’m in Europe, Bangladesh. I’m doing the Bangladeshi premiere tonight. I’ve got a few avatars that are out in the world just peddling, peddling this film.
All the Jason Biggs work hard.
JB: They all work very hard. They all work very hard. I’m sorry but this is not the original. The original right now is getting a BJ in a brothel in Amsterdam.
It’s nice that you know what’s happening to the others.
JB: I’m fully aware of where the home source Jason Biggs—
SWS: The prostitute, what’s his name?
JB: His name? Hold on, let me check in with the main Jason source. [Pauses to contact the other one.]
JB: Right now Jason is with Sven.
SWS: Sven’s blowing you?
JB: Jason’s blowing Sven.
SWS: No way!
SWS: Dude, hey. (High-fives Biggs.)
In a lot of ways the movie is about how people do or don’t change between 18 and 31. How much do you think the average person changes during that time, and what’s something you look back on about yourself and laugh?
SWS: Ahh. I don’t know jack[bleep] about anything.
JB: [Clapping.] Good answer! Good answer!
SWS: Just from my experience [I] was like 27 when I started to go, “Wow, I didn’t know anything at 24 or 25.” And all of a sudden I was 28 going, “I didn’t know anything at 27.” It kept happening. I was just growing up a little bit, incrementally.
JB: I still believed in Santa at 18.
SWS: What, there’s no Santa Claus?
JB: Oh, God, this is awkward. This is really awkward.
SWS: Don’t joke! Keep going, keep going. You’re [bleeping] joking. But go ahead.
JB: OK. I’m sorry. There is still Santa. Santa still exists.
SWS: I bet you at 18 you were probably like, “Who needs to wear a condom?” Now you’re like—well, not now, but before you got married you were like, “[Bleep]in’ put a jimmy on.”
JB: Actually no, I have never worn a condom in my life.
SWS: What are they?
JB: What’s a condom?
SWS: They’re bull[bleep].
JB: What is a condom?
SWS: It’s a way … to …
JB: [Laughs.] Abort! Abort! Abort! No, listen, I’ve realized for me I’ve changed so much in so many ways. Obviously, 18 to 31.
SWS: You look drastically different. [Laughs.]
JB: It’s a great thing. How psyched am I? All of us. Everyone keeps talking to us going, “Man, you guys haven’t aged a bit.” I’m like, “Thank you. That’s great!” Obviously. But have you seen the end credits of the movie?
SWS: Oh my gosh.
JB: Because if you just sit a minute with the [photos during the] end credits of the film .... Yeah, we’ve aged a little bit. Of course we have; that was 13 years ago. I also have a full—my bush is totally gray.
SWS: Really? It’s not salt and pepper?
JB: Fully gray. It was salt and pepper during “American Pie 3.” And now it is fully gray. When I don’t shave it that is. Usually I’m bald like a baby’s behind.
SWS: You should Just For Men that [bleep] into a [bleeping] zebra stripe.
JB: Maybe I should zebra stripe it. And then shave it so it’s like a topiary of an actual zebra.
SWS: That would be awesome.
It’s so good you offered that on your own. I was just about to ask—
JB: What animal shapes do we shave our pubic hair into?
I do ask that of everyone.
JB: Yeah, it’s a pretty common [question]. We get it all the time. Ask something original, what don’t ya?
How much more than usual do you feel like you’re talking about your penis recently?
(JB intentionally knocks the film’s poster onto my head.)
Do you feel like you’re talking about your penis more than usual or about the same?
SWS: That probably hurt, dude. You all right?
JB: I’m sorry that that fell.
SWS: You’ve been talking about your dick a lot in this movie dude.
JB: I’ve been talking about my penis a lot.
SWS: I never thought I’d be talking about your dick as much—
JB: Yes you did.
SWS: Yeah, I guess I did.
JB: You never thought you’d have permission to talk about my dick as much as you do.
Well, you guys have both made comments about doing anything for comedy as long as it’s funny.
SWS: Or even if it’s not funny.
JB: Speak for yourself. Yeah, listen—
SWS: Let him [bleeping] finish his question!
Between the two of you, who do you think has gone farther in this series for a laugh?
SWS: This guy. I think this guy. I just got peed on. I ate dog [bleep].
JB: That’s pretty big.
SWS: Yeah, but you show your dick in the movie.
JB: That’s very big. You know what I mean.
SWS: Jason Biggs’ big.
JB: Yeah, I think the two of us are both in agreement that if it makes sense within the context of the film and it’s something that the character would do believably, we’ll go for it. And at this point in the game we have the confidence of people who have done it and it’s worked. During the first movie, I remember showing up for the pie scene that day, and already having read the script and worked with the cast for a couple weeks thinking, “Oh, this is funny.” I felt confident. I was excited about the scene. I had read it, thought it was hilarious, I was psyched I was going to be the guy that got to do it. But you show up nevertheless that day and we didn’t know if anyone was going to see this movie.
SWS: Did you have any idea that they would take it as far as they would? [With the thrusting into the pie?]
JB: We didn’t know how far it was going to go. It was a lot. But then the movie comes out, the movie succeeds, that scene in particular, people respond to, and so now as we go on with the franchise you have the confidence of, “Oh, those scenes work. Audiences expect that kind of thing.”
So were you less nervous this time, even without the pie in front of you?
JB: Absolutely. Cut to 13 years later, I was all for it. The truth is now at this point too, the bar has been set pretty high and the real challenge was not only finding the pie scene but finding the scene that would credibly work for the characters at this stage in their lives. Some of the stuff that we did in the earlier films just wouldn’t work now. They wouldn’t be believable. Frankly, some of it would be illegal. In fact maybe showing my penis was illegal too. In some countries.
SWS: It’s just so small.
JB: Small? What’d you say?
SWS: No, I didn’t say that. Go ahead. What were you saying before, about the ratings board.
JB: I thought you said ... OK.
SWS: You have nice girth. You’re all girth and balls.
JB: I’m all balls. So yeah, when we talked about this scene and me showing my junk, A. I thought it was hilarious and, 2. I was like, “This works. I believe it. I buy it for the character; I think it would be great.” And this is the scene I was looking for. I kept pushing for this scene. In earlier drafts we didn’t have this scene … and so it finally happened and I felt like it worked for that scene that we needed. And you’ve got Stifler [pooping] in a cooler.
SWS: Who doesn’t do that?
JB: Who doesn’t do that?
SWS: I hope that we encourage more kids to do that. [Bleep] in coolers.
In the movie there’s this notion that a girl Jim used to babysit when she was 5 is now 18, and the guys are feeling old. I don’t know about you; I’m 29 and there have been times when I’ve felt like that. What’s something recently that’s made you feel old?
JB: I’ll tell you what makes me feel old. When someone goes, “God, I feel really old. I’m 29.”
JB: When I’m [bleeping] 34 almost. That’s what makes me feel [old]. “I’m 29.” I’m like, “I [bleeping] wish I was 29, you son of a bitch!” [Laughs.]
SWS: We were doing “Goon” press at MuchMusic in Canada and a bunch of the girls were out—
JB: They were 12!
SWS: They looked 12. I remember when we did “TRL” and [bleep], and I was like, “Hey, man, we should hook up with these chicks.” These girls didn’t look like they were 12. [Or they] said to me [recently], they were like, “My dad is such a huge fan of yours.” It’s like, “Oh, God.” It’s awesome but it was like, “Wow.” And also when we were filming the movie in some of the scenes we had these gorgeous girls, and I had a girlfriend anyways, but I was like, “Even if I didn’t, these girls look young.” And I felt like an old dude. We had nothing to talk about. They were 19, 20 years old. We really would have had to talk about “Twilight” films. [Laughs.]
Seann didn’t go to his reunion. Jason, did you?
JB: I went to mine. I just threw mine, a couple of weeks ago in fact. Tied into the movie. It went great. We don’t have any crazy stories from it. The whole thing was kind of crazy. We opened it up. My kindergarten teacher was there. My kindergarten music teacher and my librarian. It was crazy. And they saw the movie, too. My first grade music teacher saw my penis.
SWS: That’s really weird.
Did she comment on that specifically?
JB: Well, just on how much it’s changed over the years. I thought that was sweet.
SWS: Regressed. Your penis has regressed.
JB: Yeah, she’s like. “I thought it was …”
SWS: Was it a high school reunion?
JB: It was, but it was such a small school, small town, so we kind of opened it up. My mom still emails and Facebooks with teachers from my grade school.
SWS: That’s awesome.
JB: I was like, “Yeah, invite them. Let’s just do a whole blast from the past.” My sister’s two years younger than me, so she opened it up to some of her classmates.
How much have reunions changed because of social media? You can find out what anyone’s doing on Facebook.
JB: They’re easier to throw but they’re also less exciting in a way.
SWS: You can just go on Facebook and see what people look like.
JB: You kind of already know. Part of I guess the excitement in a pre-social media age was coming and seeing and not knowing what people were up to and not knowing what people looked like so the element of surprise is gone, but there’s still something to be said for showing up and actually spending time with the people that you haven’t spent time with in years and years.
SWS: I wonder, though, if there’s an advantage now to having Facebook because you can actually recognize them. I would feel horrified—I ran into somebody in an interview, he’s working in Hollywood now—and I couldn’t believe I went to school with him. It was for “Goon” again, and he goes, “Hey, we actually know each other.” My wheels were turning, he goes, “We went to high school together. It’s Brian Gallagher.” I hadn’t seen him for years but it was so cool—a kid I went to school with—I didn’t expect to see him in Hollywood. I felt bad because I didn’t recognize him at first. It would be nice to have that access before a reunion to be able to go, “OK, at least I’ll know if somebody’s gained 300 pounds” and I’m not going to be like, “Holy [bleep], you’re [bleeping] fat!”
JB: Because that’s what you would do when you saw them. That’s your reaction; you can’t help it.
SWS: Wow. “You really liked that movie ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?’”
JB: “What’s up, Gilbert Grape?”
Kevin (played by Thomas Ian Nicholas) feels emasculated from having to watch “Gossip Girl,” “The Bachelorette,” things like that.
SWS: I love that [bleep].
JB: I love that [bleep] too.
SWS: We’re into “The Bachelor.” Sorry, go ahead.
I was just going to ask what shows you watch for the sake of your wife and fiancé. Congrats on your engagement, Seann, by the way.
SWS: Thanks dude. Thank you.
JB: “The Bachelor,” “Bachelorette.” Love.
SWS: We love it.
JB: I also love, and I made my wife start watching this: “Jersey Shore.” Favorite. But my wife I got into “Bachelor,” “Bachelorette.” What do you watch, bro?
SWS: Same thing. She got me into “Jersey Shore.” I got her into “The Bachelor.” I just love that [bleep]. That’s pretty much it.
JB: Some of the other Bravo [shows]. I like “Work of Art.” Some of the competition shows. “Top Chef” stuff. But that’s not as guilty a pleasure. “Bachelor” is a guilty pleasure. And it’s really such a [bleep] show. ‘Cause I like live-tweeting it and just ripping those people apart. ’Cause they deserve it. Ready, where’s my phone? My wife ran into [C-word]ney at the [bleeping]—
SWS: Did you watch “The Bachelor,” the latest one?
JB: The winner, the girl who won the guy, the girl won the guy, my wife and I again obsessed, she was at the mall yesterday in L.A. She called me, she’s like, “Oh my God. Courtney’s right over there.” I called her [C-word]ney all year because she’s, well, a [c-word]. And she sent me pictures, though I didn’t save them.
SWS: She took photos of her?
JB: Photos of her. Called me in the Beverly Center. This is awesome. Let me see if I can show you. I was like, “Go get her. Kidnap her. Put her on the phone. Put her on the phone. Say Jason Biggs is on the phone.” But I was already quoted in Us Weekly, which you know she reads. You know that [C-word]ney reads all that shit. I was already quoted ‘cause I tweeted something about, there was one episode where there was like Tiki torches everywhere and a shot of her and I tweeted, “Oh, I hope Courtney’s hair gets caught in the lit side of that …” And Us Weekly printed it. I’m assuming she reads all that [bleep].
SWS: She knows you’re a big fan.
JB: Yeah, so if my wife was like, “Hey, I got Jason Biggs on the phone, he’s a big fan!”
SWS: “Yeah, he wanted me to die in a fire.”
JB: I don’t want her to die!
SWS: Just get burned.
JB: Just seriously burned. Just lose all of her hair to a horrible fire.
SWS: I’m thinking she probably won’t be watching “American Reunion” opening day.
JB: Yeah, she will be. Because you can’t resist the power—
SWS: Of the [penis].
JB: Of the Stifmeister. And my [penis].
Do you feel like this is where the franchise comes to an end?
SWS: I think so. I don’t know though.
JB: We’ll see how my renovation goes at my house. I tell ya; [bleepin’] contractors man. They always end up being more than they say, so I’m certainly open to another one.
SWS: To do another one, I don’t know, it could be good. I never expected this to come together as well.
JB: I think it could totally be good. I’ll just never say never at this point.
On Chicago: “Second City. I had the opportunity when I was here last time, it was quite a few years ago. I haven’t been here since 2004 maybe. They brought me up on stage and I did a little improv with the group at the time. I had a blast. I was nervous but it was so much fun. It was great.” (JB)
If Scott’s fiancé really hasn’t seen “American Pie”: “She did see the first one. I forgot that she had, ’cause she hadn’t seen the second and the third one. But she ended up watching ’em and she loved it. I just didn’t know what else to say in that interview.”
Watch Matt on “You & Me This Morning,” Friday at 7:30 a.m. on WCIU, the U
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