Entertainment Movies
Entertainment Entertainment Movies

'One For the Money' review: Not even worth the change you find in your couch

* (out of four)

Here’s something to bum you out: Sixty years ago, Debbie Reynolds starred in “Singin’ in the Rain.” Now, she’s playing goofy ol’ granny and firing a gun into a turkey in the pathetic “One For the Money,” the latest Katherine Heigl vehicle that makes viewers feel like the turkey.

Heigl plays Stephanie Plum, a character I can only assume boasts remarkable charm in the popular Janet Evanovich book (sorry, “One For the Money” isn’t the prequel to the Al Pacino/Matthew McConaughey drama “Two For the Money”). Onscreen, however, Heigl (“Life as We Know It,” “The Ugly Truth”) as usual comes off as an unlikable twit who’s always about to cry. Unemployed Stephanie disrespects her family, owns a pet hamster and still laments when Joe Morelli (Jason O’Mara), the town heartbreaker seemingly prepping to pose for a “Mr. Stubble” calendar, took her virginity and then never called. Clearly Stephanie running over Morelli with her car did not provide the closure she expected.

Morelli’s a cop believed to have killed an unarmed man, so Stephanie, despite possessing any strength or attitude, becomes a bounty hunter in hopes of simultaneously tossing a stone at both her professional and personal problems. If that brings to mind Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler’s horrendous “The Bounty Hunter,” you’re on the right track. Also: Sorry, no one should ever have to think about “The Bounty Hunter.”

Miley Cyrus’ abysmal performance in “The Last Song” proved director Julie Anne Robinson has no flair for working with actors, and Heigl obviously received no help either. She’s as energy-free as ever, flailing in a movie without a laugh or anything likeable besides its pure inconsequentiality. Not that anyone can shine while providing unnecessary lines in voiceover like “Now it’s personal” or, after spotting the flat-nosed guy Stephanie was looking for, “This was the flat-nosed guy.”

This Jersey-set movie—Heigl tries on the accent every so often, and it never fits—would be more fun with Snooki in the lead role. At least the thing would have some spunk. On a side note: Anyone grumbling about the casting of Sherri Shepherd as a prostitute should relax; it could have been Barbara Walters.

 

Watch Matt on “You & Me This Morning,” Fridays at 7:30 a.m. on WCIU, the U

mpais@tribune.com. @mattpais

 

Copyright © 2015, RedEye
Related Content
  • New movie reviews

    New movie reviews

    'We Are Your Friends,' 'No Escape,' 'Grandma,' 'Zipper,' 'American Ultra,' 'Mistress America,' 'Digging for Fire,' 'Ten Thousand Saints,' 'Straight Outta Compton,' 'The Man From U.N.C.L.E.,' 'The Diary of a Teenage Girl,''Fantastic Four,' 'Ricki and the Flash,' 'The End of the Tour,' 'Dark Places,'...

  • 'A Walk in the Woods' is soft and mushy

    'A Walk in the Woods' is soft and mushy

    Because “A Walk in the Woods” quickly wanders from a funny look at life at a crossroads to an obvious series of embarrassing nonsense and basic observations about nature and people, let’s just rattle off some things bumbling around my head during the movie:

  • How Chicago girl got to sing for Pope Francis

    How Chicago girl got to sing for Pope Francis

    As soon as Valerie Herrera found out Monday morning that she would be speaking with Pope Francis, she started trembling. To calm her nerves, administrators and teachers assured the young vocalist that “at least you don't have to sing today.”

  • Mayor Emanuel won't rule out tax on ride-hailing companies

    Mayor Emanuel won't rule out tax on ride-hailing companies

    Mayor Rahm Emanuel on Tuesday declined to rule out a tax on Uber trips as he tries to put together a new budget, and noted a powerful alderman has floated the idea of adding a $1 surcharge to fares from ride-hailing services as well as conventional cabs.

  • See Barrence Whitfield and the Savages this week at Schubas and SPACE

    See Barrence Whitfield and the Savages this week at Schubas and SPACE

    Welcome to RedEye's "Song of the Day," an ongoing feature where music reporter Josh Terry or another RedEye staff member highlights something they're listening to. Some days the track will be new, and some days it will be old. No matter what, each offering is something you should check out. Check...

  • Lupe Fiasco wants to destroy all copies of his 'Lasers' album with actual lasers

    Lupe Fiasco wants to destroy all copies of his 'Lasers' album with actual lasers

    Full disclosure: I am a fan of Lupe Fiasco. I think his 2006 effort "Food and Liquor" is one of the finest Chicago albums ever, and his latest, "Tetsuo & Youth," is a strong contender to make my 2015 best-of list (and hopefully yours too). That said, he's had a pretty hit-and-miss career so far,...

Comments
Loading
87°