Entertainment Movies
Entertainment Entertainment Movies

'One For the Money' review: Not even worth the change you find in your couch

* (out of four)

Here’s something to bum you out: Sixty years ago, Debbie Reynolds starred in “Singin’ in the Rain.” Now, she’s playing goofy ol’ granny and firing a gun into a turkey in the pathetic “One For the Money,” the latest Katherine Heigl vehicle that makes viewers feel like the turkey.

Heigl plays Stephanie Plum, a character I can only assume boasts remarkable charm in the popular Janet Evanovich book (sorry, “One For the Money” isn’t the prequel to the Al Pacino/Matthew McConaughey drama “Two For the Money”). Onscreen, however, Heigl (“Life as We Know It,” “The Ugly Truth”) as usual comes off as an unlikable twit who’s always about to cry. Unemployed Stephanie disrespects her family, owns a pet hamster and still laments when Joe Morelli (Jason O’Mara), the town heartbreaker seemingly prepping to pose for a “Mr. Stubble” calendar, took her virginity and then never called. Clearly Stephanie running over Morelli with her car did not provide the closure she expected.

Morelli’s a cop believed to have killed an unarmed man, so Stephanie, despite possessing any strength or attitude, becomes a bounty hunter in hopes of simultaneously tossing a stone at both her professional and personal problems. If that brings to mind Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler’s horrendous “The Bounty Hunter,” you’re on the right track. Also: Sorry, no one should ever have to think about “The Bounty Hunter.”

Miley Cyrus’ abysmal performance in “The Last Song” proved director Julie Anne Robinson has no flair for working with actors, and Heigl obviously received no help either. She’s as energy-free as ever, flailing in a movie without a laugh or anything likeable besides its pure inconsequentiality. Not that anyone can shine while providing unnecessary lines in voiceover like “Now it’s personal” or, after spotting the flat-nosed guy Stephanie was looking for, “This was the flat-nosed guy.”

This Jersey-set movie—Heigl tries on the accent every so often, and it never fits—would be more fun with Snooki in the lead role. At least the thing would have some spunk. On a side note: Anyone grumbling about the casting of Sherri Shepherd as a prostitute should relax; it could have been Barbara Walters.

 

Watch Matt on “You & Me This Morning,” Fridays at 7:30 a.m. on WCIU, the U

mpais@tribune.com. @mattpais

 

Copyright © 2015, RedEye
Related Content
  • New movie reviews

    New movie reviews

    'Queen of Earth,' 'A Walk in the Woods,' 'Meru,' 'Steve Jobs: The Man in the Machine,' 'We Are Your Friends,' 'No Escape,' 'Grandma,' 'Zipper,' 'American Ultra,' 'Mistress America,' 'Digging for Fire,' 'Ten Thousand Saints,' 'Straight Outta Compton,' 'The Man From U.N.C.L.E.,' 'The Diary of a Teenage...

  • Chicago marks deadliest day by gunfire in more than a decade

    Chicago marks deadliest day by gunfire in more than a decade

    A teen in a park on the West Side. Two men in their 30s in Uptown on the North Side. A woman in her 20s in the South Side's Morgan Park neighborhood.

  • Woman dead, man critically injured in Lake Shore Drive accident

    Woman dead, man critically injured in Lake Shore Drive accident

    An Indiana man and his girlfriend were on the way to a concert at Ravinia Festival in north suburban Highland Park when their vehicle flipped over Thursday evening on Lake Shore Drive just east of Sheridan Road at the north end of the highway, killing the girlfriend and critically hurting the man.

  • Emanuel defends push for record property tax increase as aldermen leery

    Emanuel defends push for record property tax increase as aldermen leery

    Mayor Rahm Emanuel on Thursday defended the massive property tax hike he's set to propose in his new budget, even as some of the aldermen who will be asked to approve it are balking at the idea of voting for what would easily be the largest property tax increase in modern Chicago history.

  • Chicago's Joffrey Ballet debuts 'Millennials' in fall lineup

    Chicago's Joffrey Ballet debuts 'Millennials' in fall lineup

    If the word “ballet” makes you think of pink tutus, satin slippers and dollar signs, maybe Chicago’s Joffrey Ballet can change your mind. The company opens its 60th anniversary season with a three-part production called “Millennials.” Each show is brought to life with the help of a young choreographer...

  • Heading to the North Coast Music Festival? What you need to know

    Heading to the North Coast Music Festival? What you need to know

    The North Coast Music Festival returns to Union Park on the West Side this weekend for its sixth year, featuring The Chemical Brothers, Widespread Panic and D'Angelo and The Vanguard as headliners. 

Comments
Loading
72°