'3'

"We need to stop having conversations facing away from each other."

*1/2 (out of four)

There's a funny “Mr. Show” sketch in which a man and a woman don’t realize that they’re cheating on each other with the same man, whom they didn't believe their significant other even knew. That's also the plot of director Tom Tykwer's (“Run Lola Run”) contrived and superficial “3,” which not only expects us to take this situation seriously but also incorporates incoherent discussions of human nature and stem cell research. Sure, plenty of people have differing views on what constitutes a functional relationship and the movie accentuates its eroticism just fine. In the absurd “3,” however, the only legitimate connection that results from sex-driven deception and lack of communication is the marriage of your hand and forehead.

Watch Matt on “You & Me This Morning,” Fridays at 7:30 a.m. on WCIU, the U

mpais@tribune.com. @mattpais