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Cannibalistic "We Are What We Are" digests too slowly

By Krystal Hernandez,@KrystalLoDash

For RedEye

12:00 AM CST, January 17, 2014

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Today we have a home video review from Geek To Me's newest contributor, Krystal Hernandez. In it, she takes a look at the newest release from Entertainment One, the gothic horror remake "We Are What We Are."

And we even have a contest to win a copy of the film!:

We Are What We Are (2013)

“We Are What We Are” is a reworking of Jorge Michel Grau’s “Somos Lo Que Hay”, a film popularized in Mexico and translated to the English screen with a little twist. Look, I’m not a huge fan of turning foreign films into American gobble-dee-goop but I gave it a go.

The Parker family is a reserved bunch plopped in the middle of nowhere between diners, trailers, and tons of trees. When the matriarch of the family dies suddenly, it’s up to the eldest daughter, Iris, to take charge of the family tradition, which is…wait for it… EATING PEOPLE. In what they call “the abstinence”, the Parkers feast on human flesh for one day a year after fasting for 3 days as part of a religious cleanse.

Right from the get-go we realize there’s something off about this gang and the film follows the twists and turns that go into exposing their hungry-hungry hippo ways.

“We Are What We Are” progresses very slowly, so if you’re into psychological thrillers, this is like the cheese in your mac. It’s not hard to predict the outcome, but the tense scenes that keep viewers on edge are really the meat of the film (too much?). It’s that tension that really drives WAWWA (I love a good acronym) and keeps the viewer’s interest because goodness knows that the dialogue and story are not enough to make this movie watchable.

Visually, the film is striking. No words are needed to feel the tension in the Parker dining room, where the most intense scenes take place. And they should thank their lucky stars for that beast of a cinematographer Ryan Samul, the butter on this dry piece of toast.

Of course, it’s not until about halfway into the film that the action starts picking up - so bring a snack and Sudoku in case your attention span hates your brain - but it’s worth the wait.

It’s interesting to watch the daughters grow over the span of the movie and you might find yourself questioning whose side you’re on in the whole cannibal debate.

Because of the internal struggle we see in both of the daughters and the masterful camerawork, I would give this movie two snaps, but not in a Z formation simply due to the lack of meaty dialogue. (Still too soon?)

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WIN a FREE COPY of “We Are What We Are” on DVD! Tell us about your family’s strangest annual tradition. The weirdest/funniest/most interesting stories will get a copy of “We Are What We Are” from Entertainment One.

E-mail your story to REDEYEGEEK@GMAIL.COM, along with your name and mailing address. One entry per household please.  

Stories will be read and judged by Krystal Hernandez and Elliott Serrano. All winners to be notified by e-mail. DVDs to be provided by Entertainment One. Up to 10 winners will be chosen!

Deadline for entry is 12:00 noon CST on Friday, January 24th, 2014.