Stopwatch

Stopwatch (HANDOUT / August 20, 2008)

The state of our union's love making isn't very long. 

That's according to "The Spreadsheets App," which tracked the average sex sessions of every state based on duration. The app, which uses a phone's accelerometer to measure thrusts, noise and time spent doin' it in the bedroom, took data from 10,000 users across the country in order to provide a ranking of average love making times. 

(Note: If nothing seems all that long, remember, the app does not include foreplay.) 

Where does Illinois rank? About average, at 28th of 51 states (and Washington, D.C.). In Illinois, the average time spent having sex is 2 minutes and 49 seconds. New Mexico takes their time, ranking first at just over seven minutes. Alaska rounds out the bottom at just 1:21. 

Neighbor to the north Wisconsin tops our state, ranking 13th, and Missouri tops the Midwest in 5th.

(h/t nerve.com, which has the full ranking of states.)