Shoot, girl. Be sad. Just because a number changed on the calendar doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings and didn’t go through something awful. Also, look outside. Don’t see birds chirping and flowers blooming? That’s because it’s the dead of winter and everything is covered in grey slush and denial. It may be a “new” year, but new life ain’t gonna be happening for several months yet (not that the seasons diminish heart break or anything, but I find it helpful when the weather reinforces my shitty mood). If that’s not comforting, then here are a few more tips for braving the emotional storm.
Learn from it if you canRelationships (even doomed ones) often teach us important lessons about ourselves, whether we want them to or not. Throw some reflection into your wallowing to help give yourself a leg up when your next big romantic adventure rolls around. Maybe next time, you’ll try to better communicate when feeling insecure, or vow not to text a hundred times a day, or work toward not apologizing for things beyond your control. The point isn’t to blame yourself for what went wrong or anything, but to help you see how things might turn out differently next time, to allow yourself to grow.
Move onAnd most importantly, get on with your life. Breakups suck, but so does basing your self-worth on the remnants of a jar of Nutella. Take life one day at a time and pay attention to your overall health and well-being. Do what you love. Get outside and bask in the sunshine for a few minutes a day. Sweat every day. Hang out with friends and people who adore you. Meet new people. Try new hobbies. Allow yourself to be surprised. And know that there is no definitive end to the possibilities that have yet to come.
Best of luck, and happy 2014.Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating? Email your quandary to email@example.com. Need to give your dating life a boost? Sign up for RedEye Dating.
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