Anna Pulley, @annapulley
RedEye's sex columnist
10:45 AM CST, March 6, 2013
I see tons of beautiful girls in passing. (Starbucks, restaurants, department stores, walking down the street, the list goes on). My question is how do you approach these girls when you have no time or reason to start talking to them? You're only around them for like two seconds before they continue on their merry way. Is there a way to approach girls in these situations without seeming like a creep?--Casual Observer
As with most things, it's not what you say so much as how you do it. If you approach a girl with the sole intention of getting in her pants, she will know it and get defensive. For this reason, never start a sentence with "Damn girl!" Remember to respect her personal space, don't eye her up and down, and do not under any circumstances talk to her while fondling your soul patch.
You're at a disadvantage on the street because people are often going somewhere (to work, to class, to get a colonic) and women especially are reluctant to stop and chit-chat with strangers because when we do, we routinely are cat-called, name-called or guilt-tripped into signing petitions. I don't know how many times I've stopped for a cute stranger only for them to ask me if I "have 15 minutes for the environment." So, my first tip is to avoid those women who are purposefully and briskly walking somewhere, or wearing earbuds. Especially do not approach if it's late at night and they are alone. You will get maced.
If you approach women who are meandering or sitting (the "L" is great for this), you'll have more of a chance to chat with them and see if there's any interest/compatibility. Here are a few conversation starters:
Compliment her, but not on her hotness. Leading with "You have a nice [BODY PART]" is a dead end. What can she say back? "Thanks! Your forthrightness and perception about my eyes/smile/tits are sound. Would you like to split this frappuccino with me?" Instead, you should ask her about the book she's reading, or an article of clothing/bag that stands out, and where she got it. Since most guys don't really care about Gucci stitching, you may want to follow this up with something like, "I'm looking for something for my mom/sister/platonic female-gendered friend." If that's not your style, ask if there's a good coffee shop/bar/panini place/record store around here that she'd recommend. Most women don't mind answering these kinds of questions because it shows that you're interested in something other than their ability in the sack. Also, people like to be helpful.
Get a dog. Women love cute, furry things! How else can you explain Hugh Jackman's career? And people love to talk about dogs. They will stop you on the street and tell you anecdotes about their Scottish terrier for far longer than is socially acceptable in any other context! If you don't have a dog, consider borrowing one from a friend or relative and taking it for occasional walks. You'll be amazed at how many women approach you.
Above all, if you're friendly, respectful, and seem interested in what they say, you won't come off as creepy. If that fails, however, try this: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy! But here's my number, so call me maybe?"
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