Entertainment Dating
Entertainment Entertainment Dating

Advice: How do I make him invest more in our relationship?

I am wondering what I must do to make a relationship stronger. The story is that I met a person through another friend. I made my intentions known, but to no avail the first time. After a period of time, we met again, and this time he asked me to "play." I was ready the first time we met, so of course, I enjoyed the encounter. Now I have called him, and he has eventually called me back, which made my day. We have even seen each other since, but I seem to be the one who wants a lot more to come of this. He has his moments, but I am the more emotional one. How do I get him to invest more into our "friendship/relationship?" Please advise!--Wantin' More

When it comes to investments, Wantin' More, my sources (Yahoo! answers and Bob Ross reruns) tell me that you can't go wrong with happy little trees and a 15 percent share of he’s-just-not-that-into-you, don't-waste-your-time stocks.

If I’ve learned anything from my attempts to woo Oprah with haiku and tasteful cheese platters, it is this: You can’t convince someone to fall for you. It’s tempting to try. Damn near irresistible, actually. But you can’t force it, no matter how big your wants are and how fervently they’re aimed in his direction. Does this guy like you? The short answer: Yes. The long answer: Yes, but not enough.

You’ve made a few strides (and rides) with your fella, for which I give you an internet high-five and a small bag of Tostitos Scoops. But I also encourage you to leave it at that--a fun, occasional tryst you have with each other while you spend the vast majority of your time investing in someone who’ll invest in you back. Relationships that are worthy of your time are those whose returns are equal to their giving (to keep this stock market metaphor going ad infinitum).

Backburner-ing your feelings for this dude will work in two ways. One, it’ll help you prioritize relationships that are reciprocal, and two, as we learned a while back, playing hard to get actually works. Being less available will probably spur some renewed interest on his part. But, again, don’t lose sight of the greater goal--focus on you and your life and people who are willing to go halfsies with you. Find someone worthy of your heart’s attention. You deserve nothing less.

Your dilemma has little to do with being “the emotional one,” I assure you. It’s just that the object of your affection doesn’t have the same level of interest. Hence, invest in you. That relationship is a bond that never expires or yields negative dividends.

Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating? Email your quandary to redeyedating@gmail.com.  Need to give your dating life a boost? Sign up for RedEye Dating.

Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye's Facebook page

Copyright © 2015, RedEye
Related Content
  • Advice: How do I date a couple?

    Advice: How do I date a couple?

    I’ve recently found myself in an unexpected situation. I’ve known this couple for a few years, from work, and have flirted and had fun with them without thinking too much of it. However, they recently asked me if I’d be into pursuing a relationship with both of them. I’ve never really done the...

  • Yep, I took my dad to Lollapalooza

    I suppose I should be old enough to know by now that something doesn't become un-cool just because your parent is there.

  • Lollapalooza style portraits

    Lollapalooza style portraits

    Concertgoers pose at the three-day fest in Grant Park.

  • Lolla day 2: Best and worst, plus superlatives

    Lolla day 2: Best and worst, plus superlatives

    And just like that, there’s only one day left of Lolla. Here’s what stood out to us from day 2. Best: The Tallest Man on Earth: Maybe it was just a right-mood, right-set situation, but boy this was the perfect mid-day act to take a breather, sit in the sun, and just chill and listen to and enjoy....

  • 50 Cent at Parliament and Wyclef Jean at The Underground

    50 Cent at Parliament and Wyclef Jean at The Underground

    Shots in The Dark at Parliament Nightclub with 50 Cent and The Underground Nightclub with Wyclef Jean and Joey Fatone July 31st

  • Lolla day 1: Best and worst, plus superlatives

    Lolla day 1: Best and worst, plus superlatives

    One day down! Here’s the best and worst we saw at Lolla on Friday, plus a few superlatives from day 1. Best: Anyone who knows me knows I was bound to pick Paul McCartney as my favorite act of the day. The Beatle came out and gave it his all with more than two hours of hits, tributes and jokes about...

  • Lolla day 1: Let's just rename it Paul-apalooza

    Lolla day 1: Let's just rename it Paul-apalooza

    What can you really say about Sir Paul McCartney, the former Beatle, pop music pioneer, worldwide cultural icon, and all-around great guy, that hasn't already been said? I mean, seriously. With the Beatles changing music for the better, becoming a pop culture institution and being "more popular...

  • Aldermen looking to stop stores from getting around plastic bag ban

    Aldermen looking to stop stores from getting around plastic bag ban

    Chicago's ban on plastic bags starts to take effect at many big stores Saturday, but an alderman who helped craft the law already is talking about changing it in order to thwart a few large retail chains that he says are trying to skirt the new rules.