I have a question about going down on girls when Aunt Flo is in town. In the past, women have been hesitant to let me go down on them, or even to have sex, while they’re on their period. But I don’t mind it. Heck, I enjoy it! What’s the big deal? —Trying To Go With The Flo
Dear Go With The Flo,
Bless yer heart. We need more men (and women) like you who don’t think the totally normal occurrence of a woman’s period is dirty, gross or weird. Because it’s not. It can be painful and inconvenient and force you to make annoying trips to the laundromat, but it’s not something that should be looked at with the kind of horror and disdain it currently receives in our society. With a little creativity and a good attitude, period sex can be just as fun and fulfilling as that Japanese trend of making food look like pandas.
Like Malort or ventriloquism, period sex, especially oral period sex, will never be for everyone. Some women don’t enjoy it because it’s messy. Some feel insecure or distracted trying to get off while ignoring the reality of their ever-shedding uterine lining. (Is anyone else turned on?) Some are particular about their sheets. Some think the sensation is too intense or feel too sensitive during those first few days of menstruation. Some don’t like oral at any time, as we learned not too long ago in this very column. And still others have been scarred by previous partners who told them period sex was dirty, gross or weird.
If the situation is the latter, you might be able to sway future partners with your can-do spirit. If you express genuine enthusiasm or tell a partner that period sex turns you on, she may be more likely to try it out. You also could suggest dark towels, shower sex or diaphragms as better ways to get down (or at least make cleanup easier). If she’s still reluctant, you’ll simply have to accept that it ain’t her cup of lube.
One suggestion: Don’t use the term “Aunt Flo,” especially not in the bedroom, because despite its correct usage, coming out of a dude it sounds grandmotherly and infantile. I feel similarly about women referring to penises as “willies” or “winkies.” Just say period or rag or bleeding. “Are you bleeding?” sounds infinitely better than the travel plans of a fictitious, menacing relative.