E-mail this story
Advice: The trouble with dating while bisexual
I've been bi my entire life. It was never an issue in both my marriages (to women) as I was monogamous. But now that online dating has taken over single life, I find myself having to declare my sexuality prior to getting to know someone. I don't want to lie and identify as straight, but I tried an experiment recently and identified as bi and it was as if I said I had leprosy. Yet I find when I'm getting to know someone and there's a connection clearly apparent to both of us and discuss it, 99 percent of the time, it's a non-issue. Straight and even bi women seem to have a predisposed prejudice against bi men (unless they know them), and it is a drag, especially because the majority of the preconceptions are utterly wrong: we're "in transition," we're disease carriers, we'll cheat on them with men, we're in denial, etc. Any ideas on how to handle this? Also, sometimes I am with a man who I think is bi or gay but I can’t tell. I don't want to embarrass him or myself by coming on to him should he be straight and I don't want to be inappropriate and bluntly ask about his sexuality. Other than dropping hints like, "What kind of bars do you like to go to?"--Anon.
Anna Pulley, @annapulley
May 29, 2013