Many parents dread the idea of uprooting their offspring for a cross-country job transfer that requires a midyear school change. Yet contrary to popular belief, most youngsters fare better socially if they move before the academic year is over, real estate specialists say.
“The theory that kids should always be moved during the summer is mistaken,” contends Joan McLellan Tayler, author of real estate books. A child who arrives in a new community after the close of a school year often misses a major opportunity to make new friends to play with during the summer. “Too often, the poor kid just sits alone in an empty room,” she says.
Children who make a midyear school transition are often showered with attention from teachers and classmates, while those who enter with other newcomers during the fall gain less notice. “A midyear move can create a very positive feeling for young children, helping allay their fears of starting a new school in September,” says Leo Berard, owner of a realty company and charter president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents.
Berard’s own son, a biotechnology specialist, was offered a plum long-distance transfer last winter. His son wanted the job, but was so fearful of changing his two children’s schools that he took an apartment in the new area while the rest of his family stayed behind for a few months. “By spring, my son was not a happy camper living alone. So the whole family changed their plans and decided they would move last May, just a few weeks before school was out,” Berard recalls.
The transition went swimmingly. “Moving the kids when school was winding down turned out well for them. Everyone was very welcoming and the kids, who were in first and third grade at the time, got lots of invitations for play dates,” Berard says.
Are you planning a long-distance move that will involve children? Then these four suggestions could help:
– Put access to quality schools at the top of your home search criteria. Obviously, your children will benefit if you buy a property with access to top-notch schools. In addition, your net worth should gain from such a choice. The expansion of standardized testing means that property owners in neighborhoods with high test scores can expect an increasingly large valuation gain on their homes, Berard says.
– Give your offspring a preview trip to the new area before you move. Many young people fear the unknown in a long-distance move. But you can defuse much of the fear by taking them on a visit to the new area prior to moving. Real estate specialists encourage parents to show their children the place they’ve chosen as soon as possible. “Realtors are usually very decent about helping you arrange a visit to a house before your closing papers are signed,” Tayler says.
Besides giving your kids a preview of the new home, schedule visits to the schools they will be attending and include local cultural attractions or events on your preview itinerary. “Make it a joyful trip. Moving can be an enriching experience,” Tayler says.
– Ask business colleagues with families to help smooth your move. If you’re making a long-distance move for professional reasons, you’re likely to become acquainted with colleagues before the job begins. No doubt some of your new associates will also have children or have friends who have children. Do attempt to schedule a get-together, such as a dinner, with a family in the new area. “Making a friend or two in the new community can be enormously helpful in grounding a young person.”
– Consider carefully the issues involved before making a school-year move with older teenagers.
Educators and real estate experts alike are far more positive on the idea of moving young children during the academic year than they are about such a transition for juniors or seniors in high school. For older students, especially college-bound ones, the change can have a jarring effect on their educational programs.
Suppose, for instance, that your teenager is a math-minded junior who is advancing well through her calculus class at high school. Then she’s asked to go to a different high school, which doesn’t offer calculus. Such a transition could slow her academic progress and possibly weaken her college application should she, for instance, be seeking a university with a specialty in engineering.
If your teenager is on a high-powered educational track and you fear that moving her during the academic year could break the continuity, you may wish to make arrangements for her to stay behind until the school year is over, Tayler says.
On the other hand, many older teenagers still need the structure and comfort of family life to help them mature emotionally. They feel stranded when separated from their parents and siblings.
