Lovie Smith has to say he likes his group of offensive linemen. Just like we have to slam our palms to our foreheads.
Lovie Smith also has to say he’s “comfortable’’ with a left tackle who gave up the most sacks and committed the most false starts. Just like Jay Cutler is “comfortable’’ getting slammed to turf.
The Lovie Smith decoder ring: When he says, “We like our (insert inferior position group),’’ he knows he has a dead-bang loser but has to sound like a player’s coach.
Where’s John Groce’s credibility for wanting to work for people who created an environment so amateurish and laughable that it seems impossible to overcome?
I’ll hang up and listen for Mike Thomas’ hummena-hummena-hummena.
Winning the Big Ten and reaching the Final Four would overcome the clown college wonks who are running things in Champaign, or at least buy Groce the years it bought Bruce Weber.
Of course, you can’t win without players, so what are the odds that the school’s sixth choice can bring top-10 talent to a second-rate program?
There are very few things you can take from these Bulls that will apply to that Bulls-Heat Eastern Conference finals, but Taj Gibson is one of them.
If only Carlos Boozer could play his version of fake defense half as well as Gibson plays his brand of hustling, relentless, fearless defense.
I didn’t know John Lucas III could pass the ball.
Richard Hamilton is coming back from injury. Again. He’s looking at Friday against his former Pistons teammates. Again. How’d that work out for everybody last time?
Maybe it’s me, but it would’ve been more appropriate if the Blachawks’ night honoring Ed Belfour would’ve included Belfour throwing out the ceremonial first punch.
Sean Payton said he was surprised “to some degree’’ by the massive media coverage of the Saints’ bounty scandal that resulted in the coach’s year suspension. Does Payton know a coach has never been handed a year suspension?
Or maybe Payton of the Naperville Paytons was lying about that the way he lied about everything else.
Opening Day at Wrigley -- don’t the Cubs have to introduce Theo Epstein? No, it’s not conventional, but then, neither is the Cubs’ having an actual building plan.
Of all the injuries suffered by Jake Peavy, how has he avoided going on the DL because of his mouth? Nobody delivers so little compared to his torrent of laughably over-the-top and remarkably empty tough guy talk. I believe doctors call it blatherrhea.
Sports Illustrated’s prediction that the White Sox will lose 96 games -- wait, this is an even-numbered year, which means Alex Rios steals only half his ridiculous salary.
Truth is, if Rios or anybody in addition to Paul Konerko hits like an adult, the Sox have a shot at .500 because they have starting pitching.
What’s more, if two guys beside Konerko hit -- Adam Dunn, say -- the Sox can fake a division race.
Problem is, to actually win the AL Central, the Sox need Prince Fielder to swallow Justin Verlander.
That $2.15 billion that Magic Johnson’s group agreed to pay for the Dodgers? All cash. That’s a lot of lumpy mattresses.
One thing about Major League Baseball scheduling secret season openers in Japan: My Twitter timeline the middle of the night is all yours.
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