RedEye

NHL too concussed to use common sense

I got a calm Twitter message from someone in Vancouver on Monday. Sweetheart, get me rewrite.

I’ll keep his identity anonymous because he might be drawn and quartered by other British Columbia residents who direct pottymouth e-mails to me for writing that the Can’yuk-yuk-yuks are heartless and brainless instead of directing their ire at the players, coach and organ-I-zation responsible for being heartless and brainless.

Anyway, the Twitter follower wrote that seeing as how I thought Vancouver idiot Raffi Torres should’ve gotten eight games for his cheap shot on Blackhawks defenseman Brent Seabrook in Game 3, then how many games do I think Hawks forward Bryan Bickell should get for his shoulder-to-jaw hit on Canucks defenseman Kevin Bieksa in Game 6?

First, I never said Torres should’ve been suspended for eight games. He certainly should’ve gotten more than four games because he’s a recidivist idiot.

Second, the hits were different because Seabrook never had the puck, while Bieksa clearly did. Torres and Bickell left their feet and targeted the head, but at least Bieksa had the puck. Colin Campbell, the NHL’s VP/Ridiculous Decisions, completely missed that in exonerating Torres. Maybe Campbell is concussed worse than Seabrook was.

Whatever, Torres got nothing for the same reason Bickell will get nothing:

The NHL is too stupid to do the obvious, and that is to make any shot to the head a penalty and subject to suspension. Shoulder, elbow, stick, whatever. Hit the head, go to jail.

The NHL’s problem is that the proliferation of video allows more of its prospective fans to laugh at the league. The Torres hit was suspendable. The Bickell hit is suspendable. I’d give him a game, to answer the Twitter follower’s question. And I’d slap a game on Alex Edler for his elbow into Troy Brouwer’s face in Game 5.

Listen, they were hits to the head. Hits that represent the greatest danger. If it’s a hit from the jaw up, the player sits down. Quick, someone tell Gary Bettman that you can’t yammer on about concern for concussions and then make allowances for hits to the head. The league’s logic mirrors a concussion: The lights are on, but nobody’s home.

The NHL wants to attract more fans by stressing the speed and talent of its players. Fine. Great. Love ya, babe. And the NHL wants that speed and talent to be obvious. You go, guys. And then the NHL endorses obvious cheap shots via some gobbledygook about reverse-side forwards bearing down on defensemen in a hitting alley because that’s what the general managers wanted, even though none of their players had ever heard of such a thing.

Stupid lives here.

This is the NHL’s version of the Calvin Johnson catch. That looked like a touchdown to everyone except the dopes who twisted the common sense out of the rulebook. Same deal in this playoff series. You can’t make rules that defy logic. Do the math: Hits to the head = penalties and suspensions.

Every single one of them.

Seems pretty clear to me. Even NHL wonks can follow that, eh?

 

Copyright © 2015, RedEye
Related Content
  • Blackhawks feel they've come too far to lose Game 7

    Blackhawks feel they've come too far to lose Game 7

    Not many Chicago Blackhawks players have experienced a Game 7 in the Stanley Cup playoffs. Just four, in fact. Though perhaps it's a good sign that they are completely oblivious to this, as evidenced by Dave Bolland's response when asked Monday when he last played in a deciding Game 7 at any level.

  • Chicago sues red light camera firm for $300 million

    Chicago sues red light camera firm for $300 million

    Mayor Rahm Emanuel's administration has sued Chicago's former red light camera operator, Redflex Traffic Systems, for more than $300 million on grounds the entire program was built on a $2 million bribery scheme at City Hall that has already led to federal corruption convictions.

  • Marrow's 'The Gold Standard' raises the Chicago rock bar

    Marrow's 'The Gold Standard' raises the Chicago rock bar

    The four musicians in Marrow know quite a bit about bringing diverse influences to the table. After all, three of them, singer-guitarist Liam Kazar, singer-keyboardist Macie Stewart and bassist Lane Beckstrom were in Kids These Days, a now-defunct septet that combined jazz, funk, rap and rock in...

  • The Kids These Days family tree

    The Kids These Days family tree

    From its 2009 beginnings to its 2013 demise, Chicago's Kids These Days seemed like one of the most promising acts the city had seen in years. While the band split up at the height of its hype, its members have since gone on to do bigger and better things—seriously impressive considering the hip-hop/rock/jazz...

  • Solid 'Gold': How ex-Kids These Days members came back stronger as Marrow

    Solid 'Gold': How ex-Kids These Days members came back stronger as Marrow

    After the dissolution of Kids These Days, the much-buzzed about Chicago fusion-jazz-rock-rap septet that split in spring 2013 just a few months after releasing its only album, “Traphouse Rock,” some of its members spent what seems like all of 20 minutes bandless. "We were driving back from the...

  • Mr Twin Sister's 'In the House of Yes' is one of last year's hidden treasures

    Mr Twin Sister's 'In the House of Yes' is one of last year's hidden treasures

    Welcome to RedEye's "Song of the Day," an ongoing feature where music reporter Josh Terry or another RedEye staff member highlights something they're listening to. Some days the track will be new, and some days it will be old. No matter what, each offering is something you should check out. Check...

  • GrubHub's weekend customer-support issues made people hangry

    GrubHub's weekend customer-support issues made people hangry

    Technical difficulties at GrubHub and Seamless over the weekend drove hordes of hangry would-be customers to air their grievances on social media. The food ordering and delivery sites, which merged in 2013 and use GrubHub’s back-end technology, errantly accepted payments on Saturday evening without...

  • One dead in Heart of Chicago after being shot by police

    One dead in Heart of Chicago after being shot by police

    A 29-year-old man died after being shot by police on the Lower West Side early Saturday, police said.

Comments
Loading
78°