Just because comedian Adam Carolla travels often doesn't mean he's gotten used to it.
The former “Loveline” and “Man Show” co-host performs around the country, including Friday at Rialto Square Theatre in Joliet. And as anyone who listens to his popular “Adam Carolla Show” podcast can tell you, he despises waking up early for flights and walking through the security checkpoint at the airport more than most people. On the other hand, the frequent traveling, no matter how inconvenient it may be, provides the Los Angeles native and married father of twins plenty of fodder for his podcasts.
Here, Carolla, a self-proclaimed complainer, discusses what his schedule typically looks like on the day of a show:
Airport: There's usually a sense of relief as we leave that place. I get depressed at airports. … I see the long line of non-terrorists attempting to get home or to their next meeting, taking their belts and shoes off. We're barefoot through a public space with no shoes on in an era where everyone washes their hands with Purell. Can you imagine walking barefoot through the supermarket? Then you have to worry about how many ounces your toothpaste is. I tip my hat to al-Qaeda. You guys won because we're spending millions (on security) and missing flights. You don't have to blow up anything. Take this as a victory.
Hotel: I usually go straight to the hotel and try to take a nap. Wherever I'm coming from is always three hours earlier than where you're at. It kind of sucks to keep losing three hours. I get to the hotel as fast as I can and nap for 30-40 minutes and then shadow box in my socks while watching TV for 15-20 minutes to get the blood circulating.
Dressing room: If the venue is 10 minutes away and the show starts at 8 (p.m.), that means we'll meet in the hotel lobby at 7:45 (p.m.). That usually gets me there right about 8. I turn on the TV backstage and usually there is a game on. … My (backstage) rider is coffee, water, Miller Lite, a bottle of red wine for later and a vegetable platter. Recently I added oatmeal cookies. … If I ate a full meal, all I'd want to do is take a nap. I don't think you should do anything on a full belly: comedy, Ultimate Frisbee, (sex).
Family time: I call home once or twice a day when I get to where I'm getting to and, depending on the time difference, after the show from the dressing room to tell my twins I love them. If they're watching something, they will be emotionally checked out and say, “Yeah, yeah, love you too, Dad,” and then hand the phone off. Or I'll get “and then I went down the slide, and then Sonny went down the slide and then … ”
Meet-and-greet: Almost without exception, when the show is done, I'll go in the lobby. I don't enjoy it, but I feel like, “God bless you. You bought the book, came out here and spent $35 on a ticket and stood in line to meet me.” If you're willing to do that, I'm willing to stay an extra hour. I'm a politician traveling the country saying thank you. You're supporting me and my family. It's the least I can do.
Sleep: We always claim we're going to get a big steak (after the show), but by the time the autograph signing ends at 11:15, we're tired from traveling. We all look at our guts and think, “Should we really shove potatoes in here right before we go to sleep?” and then go back to our rooms, drink red wine and crash. But we'll do a huge breakfast.
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